Obligatory End Of Year Post

Some will be surprised to find that I'm a "Seinfeld" fan. It's because I like funny and although it can be way too rude sometimes, it exposes the lost human condition; self centered, pleasure seeking, lazy, you name it. For instance, one show has George knocking down women, children, and invalids trying to get out of a burning house. Don't worry, it was a smoke fire. No real danger.

Jerry once tried to help a Pakistani get his restaurant started. The owner thanks him and tells him what a good man he is. Jerry sits there and thinks to himself over and over again with a big grin on his face, "I AM a good man"!

One of the shows touches on holidays. George's dad invented one; Festivus.


"Festivus; for the rest of us," says George's dad. Let me describe some of the traditions that go with the holiday. There's a single metal pole instead of a tree for ornamentation (easy to decorate, eh); a meal where everyone airs their grievances; and afterward, the "Feats Of Strength" where everyone gets to prove how tough they are by wrestling each other. The focus is on self. And so it not-so-humorously-gos with a lot of our holidays too.

Birthdays are a pet peeve. Before the turn of the century, it used to be celebrated early and late in life. Credit for escalating it to the marvel we have now goes to Hallmark, I think. I remember as a child a lot of old people not knowing exactly how old they were because they weren't sure what year they were born! And even more not knowing on what day they were born! Imagine that! I guess they could've been pulling my leg. I jokingly sing, "Happy Self Indulgence Day" to my kids (yeah, we celebrate birthdays).

Tradition! My favorite song in Fiddler On The Roof. Here are some traditions we do for Christmas:

1. Tree goes up the Sunday after Thanksgiving Day.

2. The kids take turns each day putting together a velcro manger scene calendar. Each item has a pocket for a day in December and as that day arrives, the item is velcro'd to the manger scene. In years past, the items were placed in their proper place. Now we have flying camels, cows and sheep; wise men propelling out of the stable as if the boiler room just exploded (must've been because of that star that plowed into it). The angels did their best containing the blast and seem unaffected. No worries. Baby Jesus and his mom and step-dad are fine.

2. We watch "It's a Wonderful Life", "A Christmas Story", and the old "A Christmas Carol" with Allister Sims. Oooo, haven't done the last one yet.

3. Each kid gets some sort of light in their stocking. Last year it was a laser pointer. The year before I think it was a reading light. With the tougher times this year, it was a candle. They also get a stuffed animal (from yard sales) to peer out of the stocking at them; usually a beanie baby that has some feature common with them. This year it was a much larger stuffed animal to take up the stocking slack.

4. We hide a pickle shaped ornament on the Christmas Tree; a German tradition. The kids wait at the top of the stairs Christmas morning until my wife and I are ready, then they bolt for the tree. It used to be the pitter patter of cherub faced crumb crunchers chattering like munchkins. Now it's a clomping herd of adolescents rattling windows and mooing boastful words on their stampede to the tree. The winner gets a prize. Usually one my wife and I have to scramble around for. This year I regifted a laser pointer to David, the winner.

5. We used to bake a birthday cake for Jesus. Now there's one that we need to reinstate!

6. The tree comes down on New Years Day with a death march as we drag the lifeless vegetation to the back of the property to join the previous year's "volunteers". I say "volunteers" because I shudder at calling it what the tree care instructions called it. On the "How To Properly Care For Your Tree," it actually said the tree "sacrificed itself" for our holiday. When I read that, I imagined a tree at Christmas Tree Farm standing there, trying to be brave as it heard the farmer coming. "Here I am. I'm prepared to be a sacrifice," it silently says while invisibly spreading out it's arms and genuflecting to the farmers axe. He walks on by. "Wait! I'm offering myself up! I'm ready! Come back!," says the tree anxiously. Correct me if I'm wrong, but to sacrifice yourself, you have to perform some kind of action to offer yourself as a sacrifice. How exactly does a tree do that?

Enough for now. Be prepared early next year for a continuance of "the airing of grievances" where I'll expound on a list of traditions and myths that are attributed to scripture with no basis in fact (I come from a long line of pot stirrers). Kuumba Kwanzaa and Happy Hanukkah!

Toothpaste Segway

I love the word Segway. I could've used it later in a better context, but I'm in one of those moods to force something. It's a guy thing. And if I force something physical, it usually breaks. Sarah should be glad I didn't know that word before she was born. She may very well have been named Segway Kipper instead of Sarah Kristen.

Well...I unintentionally opened a can of worms on my last post. Jos left a comment directed to Jessica on my previous blog, but I thought I'd slip my 2 cents worth in on his questions. And since this would be a rather long comment, I decided to blog it instead.

The answers are based on how I'm living it. I'm going to use the letters CWB to stand for Common Wholistic Belief which means there may or may not be any studies to back up the belief, but it appears to be a fact or at least a solid theory. And if you see HHTDWIY, it stands for Haven't Had To Deal With It Yet. None of my comments should be considered exhaustive on their subject.

The questions were:
What about diabetes?
What about surgery?
What about asthma?
What about broken bones?
What about stroke?
What about artificial hearts?
What about bone marrow transplants?
What about vaccinations?
What about rabies?

Diabetes: CWB is that the onset version of it is caused by high fructose corn syrup found in many processed foods and sodas. Don't consume those foods and you don't get diabetes. Cure the diabetes by stopping consumption of those foods. Doctors may be the answer for congenital diabetes. HHTDWIY

Surgery: There may be some cases where I'd opt for surgery. Some that I wouldn't are: Transplant, cancer, and exploratory. HHTDWIY

Ashtma: CWB they're caused by dust mites and/or other parasites. Cure with a parasite cleanse and boosting the immune system. HHTDWIY

Broken Bones: Set them yourself. Apply and drink Bone, Flesh & Cartilage (BF&C). HHTDWIY

Stroke: CWB that lots of hot cayenne pepper will stop a stroke in its tracks and will help drain the blood from the site. I've heard it reported that the stroke victim recovers very well regaining use of his faculties. HHTDWIY

Artificial Hearts: Not many of those around. Heart problems abound though. Hawthorn Berries are very good. And don't think they just sorta help. They help a lot! Check out Dr. Richard Shulze's personal testimony. He had a really bad heart before he got into alternative health. It was one of his tapes I was listening to when I had the epiphany. Warning: he has been known to use some foul language every once in a while. HHTDWIY

Bone Marrow Transplants: I'm assuming this is for Leukemia; a form of cancer. Check out the site mentioned above. He deals with cancer quite a bit. I'd much rather be cured of something rather than have someone elses body parts. HHTDWIY

Vaccinations: Now there's another can of worms. We don't do those on religious grounds, but even if that constraint wasn't there, we wouldn't do them. Thymerasol is used as a preservative in them and contains mercury. It's CWB that vaccinations cause Autism and ADD. There's also plenty of evidence that they don't do any good. The only "medicine" they don't do double blind studies on. Hmmmm, wonder why that is? My older daughter got them when she was a baby and though we haven't had her diagnosed, she swears she's ADD. None of my other kids make the claim nor exhibit that behavior.

Rabies: Skullcap herb has been reported as a cure for it. It is a virus, so you could also add to that immune boosting herbs. HHTDWIY

Closing notes: Good alternative medicine is preventative, consequently there are a lot of HHTDWIYs up there. We're a family of 6. The last time we went to a medical doctor (he was a mohel) was to get our youngest boy circumcised 11 years ago. Another can of worms? None of us have had a prescription for anything nor do we take herbal remedies constantly. None of my kids have had ear infections. We do get the flu and colds occasionally and we sometimes have symptoms that tempt us to panic. But we let that be an impetus for us to pray to the Divine Healer and press more into the One who loves us and to get even more educated.

Allopathic Medicine, its full name, means the "diagnosis and treatment of symptoms." Long ago I was diagnosed with psoriasis. I asked the dermatologist what causes that. She said nobody knows, but that the drug ________ would suppress the symptoms. Well...I didn't want the symptoms to be suppressed, I wanted them gone. That marked the beginning of my trek.

There are some things for which I'm not sure what I'd do; car accident where body parts are strewn at the scene. I guess you can take me to the hospital for that. They're pretty good at keeping you alive when you should be dead. Organ transplant? It's time for me to meet my Maker.

Musing Toothpaste

Many moons ago, while watching a video on how to heal yourself of a malady, I had an epiphany. Hmmm... too many $10 words, but they sound good together so I'm leaving them. Perhaps Jessica can use them in her next poem. They don't really rhyme, but they sound like they do. It must be the cadence or something. I've never been very good with poetry. Oh no! I'm randomly digressing! I thought Lizzie and Sarah got that from there mother! ....or it could just be the coffee.

Anyway, my epiphany was that God wants us to take responsibility for our own health rather than farm it out to caregivers, or is it caretakers. Whoa...ephiphanical progression. Caregiver to caretaker to undertaker! ....anyway, since then I've liked to shine the light of scripture on things commonly accepted by the masses to see how it stands up. For instance, there's scripture about taking care of your health all over the place in the bible. Not much about paying other people to do it for you.

I've been struggling with toothbrushing and the light of scripture for a few years now. There's not much on toothbrushing. So why would our wonderful God who created these wonderful bodies that need little maintenance, require us to have some kind of invention to clean our teeth? Not only some contrivance, but a difficult-to-get-on-your-own poisonous chemical such as flouride. Yeah, I know it's true that we use soap for our body and hairburshes for our hair and razors for our beards and all, but those REALLY aren't necessary to keep our health. Stop brushing teeth and you'll be losing them; painfully, I might add, and disgusting others in the process.


One of my daughters found some information about how if you go long enough without washing your hair, it will magically stop looking greasy and look and maybe even be clean again. She gave it a shot. Can't remember what the result was, but she's been back to washing her hair for a few years now. It's almost back to clean. :D But she was never in danger of losing her hair because of it.

We've been able to ditch having a family doctor, but not a family dentist. We go every 6 months as a family to one that uses "safe" dental procedures FOR ADDITIONAL CLEANING!!! But why do we have to!? Someone invariably ends up with cavities, so it appears very necessary. Maybe it's our western diet?

Well...blogging about it didn't answer the big question. Oh well.

You probably guessed that Natalie's post instigated this musing, so I'll close with my new toothpaste of choice. The one that lines most perfectly up with scripture (as far as I can tell). I must point out that I'm not currently using this toothpaste, but will soon begin for this post has inspired me to switch. In line with my shaving practice of a mug, a brush, and a bar of shaving soap, my new toothpaste of choice is...drum role please.... Baking Soda and Salt. Why salt you ask? For flavoring of course! Oooo a little cayenne might be nice.

Tagged Out

Jessica tagged me.

How timely. This is the meet the Seahawk's had last Christmas with the Forsythe County Homeschool Hawks, I think. We've got our first meet of the season coming up next week.

BTW, I think that's Jessica coming off of the first block from the right. We used her off of this picture for a graphic on the cover of a Seahawk's DVD last year.

The rules: Go to your picture file, go to your fifth picture, post it, and then tag five people. As far as for me tagging people, I'm terminus. I know to few and the few I know have been tagged.